So close yet so far away

In a week (plus or minus a day), the Bigelow family will welcome Pancho and Lefty into their lives. The feelings I have about the arrivals swing between such extreme happiness and anxiety that I wonder if I'm going to leave labor and delivery in a straight jacket.

I have this image in my head of maniacal laughter mixed with tears of joy and fear - I just hope that stays at bay in front of the residents. Poor suckers might be doing their only OB rotation and they get to deal with me .

Perhaps one day I will run into one of them at Target and I will say "Hey! You were in the delivery room when I had my twins. Did you go into Obstetrics?" Young resident blushes and looks down and says, "Er, no, that day I decided I was better suited for Orthopedics."

I am being induced Sunday night and hope to have the babies at some point on Monday, August 1st. However, my OB informed me today it could take as long as 48 hours. For the record, I punched her.

For those that know me well, know that I was in labor with Eliza for three days. So my body likes its long labors. I have a gut-wrenching-sinking-suspicion that this is going to be a long labor. Yes, end result will be worth it, but as I stare down three days of labor, I do have a hard time truly accepting the joy.

This time, however, I will get the epidural a lot sooner than last time. I asked for it today at my OB appointment but they told me I had to wait until I was in actual labor. Well that's just ridiculous.

Pete was all over the epidural questions. He wanted to know how soon I could get it. He remembers all to well what it was like to wait for the last one. Sometimes I find him crying in the in the corner of our room, rocking himself, and its because he is having flashbacks of what it was like before I got the epidural with Eliza. He would like it administered as soon as possible.

So next week it will all change. This party of three turns into a party of five. Pray for me and send Pete a lot of liquor.