He Said/She Said

These little boys are wreaking havoc on my body. I wish I had never read those stupid Twilight books because now I'm fairly convinced that I'm having a vampire baby. One who is growing at 20 times the normal gestation. One that can actually crack my rib.

I won't bore you too much with what it's like to be pregnant with twins. If you want a run down, ask Pete, it's his FAVORITE game - the "what part of my body feels like it just broke" game. He L-O-V-E-S it.

Instead I will share with you the "he said/she said" version of finding out about them with guest blogger, Mr. Coloradoanmichigander.

She Said

I went in for an early appointment at about eight weeks because I was having a lot of pain in my right side. P. could not go with me, so I was by myself. At the appointment, my doc said she wanted to do an ultrasound to check everything out. She and I were both thinking something was not right with all the pain I was having.

Here is how it unfolded:

Doctor: "Okay, I am going to look in your uterus now. oh! OH!"

Me: "WHAT? WHAT?"

Doctor: "I see two hearts."

Me: "My baby has two hearts?

Doctor: "No, your baby has a friend."

Me: "What the hell does that mean?"

Doctor: "You are having twins, I'm trying to tell you that you are having twins."

Me: "Actually, that's not possible, it doesn't run in my family and I'm not on fertility treatment."

Doctor flips monitor around and points to the screen and says "I see two babies. Do you see two babies?"

I then laughed uncontrollably for a solid hour. She went on to talk a bit about twin pregnancy but I have no idea what she said. At the end of the appointment, I was still laughing so hard that she grabbed my knees and said "I need to know you are okay to drive." I was not. I was manic.

I immediately starting calling Pete who was in the middle of a huge breaking news story...

He Said

So I was on the phone with a source on the coaching search story – someone who I had been trying to get to call me back for several days. Having someone who's actually relevant to a coaching search call you back is met with the same joy of, say, meeting the Dalai Lama, so this was huge for me.

I had even left my desk to take this call in the private hallway one floor below my office, so that I wouldn't pique the curiosity of any of the other reporters and overlords who were eager for coaching search news.

So needless to say, when the call waiting first flashed my wife's name, I totally ignored her. When she called right back, I grew more annoyed and ignored her call again. When she battered me with a third consecutive phone call, I nearly threw the phone down in anger, but then something clicked in my head and I remembered she had scheduled a doctor's appointment and got a lump in my throat.

"Hey (highly confidential source)," I said. "I'm going to have to call you back."

So I call E back, and she's hysterical.

I immediately think the worst, and start assembling some sort of "its-ok-and-we-can-try-again-soon" script in my head – whatever sort of textbook response you are supposed to recite when your wife tells you she had a miscarriage. She's totally bawling.

But before I could blurt out anything stupid like that, or maybe it was during my intro, she's stammering between the hysteric sobs – or where they laughs? – something like, "no ... no, ta ... ta... twins! We're having twins!"

It was at this point the hallway started spinning like after I have five too many gin-and-tonics, and I really can't recall anything about my response or anything else that occurred in the next few minutes, other than that my wife was driving to my office so we could together process the momentous news.

(Ed's Note: She is still laughing. He is still drinking).